Dig Deeper into this Sunday’s Gospel: Read Mark 10:2–16
We’ve all been there. We get into an argument with a loved one, and the size of the argument becomes much bigger than the size of the problem. It often becomes apparent in those moments that the issue is not this issue. Something more profound is going on and needs to be addressed.
In this Sunday’s gospel, the Pharisees approach Jesus about divorce. While divorce is a monumental, personal, and painful subject, the issue here is not the issue. There is more here than meets the eye, and I believe God wants to use this teaching to reveal a deeper truth.
In Mark chapter 10, the Pharisees ask Jesus to explain whether it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife. At that time, there were two schools of thought on divorce in the Jewish faith, one more permissive than the other. The Pharisees were testing Jesus. They wanted Him to affirm one teaching over another and cause controversy in the community. They also wanted to twist Christ's words as permission to follow their desires. Jesus knew this was a setup and took control of the conversation.
Mark 10:3–5 says, “He answered them, ‘What did Moses command you?’ They replied, ‘Moses permitted him to write a bill of divorce and dismiss her.’ But Jesus told them, ‘Because of the hardness of your hearts he wrote you this commandment.’”
Jesus then explained that from the beginning, God meant for marriage to be forever. God made men and women for each other. Therefore, man should not separate what God joined together.
Most people have been affected by divorce, so if you feel your defenses rise as you read this gospel, know you are not alone. According to the Pew Research Center, 34% of Catholics have experienced divorce.[1] I have sat with many women who share with me the details of their divorce and then explain to me that they feel like bad Catholics. This could not be further from the truth. While God made himself clear in Malachi 2:16 that He hates divorce, know that He hates it because, like the effects of all sin, it causes division, separation, and pain in the people whom He loves. Rest assured, if you are divorced, are going through a divorce, or are the child of divorce, the God of the universe knows your circumstances intimately. His love for you is unshakable, and He will heal your pain if you let Him.
Although divorce is the topic of their conversation, Jesus is more interested in uncovering an underlying problem: sin has hardened our hearts toward God. In Matthew 15:8, Jesus laments, “This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” This means that we, like the Pharisees, find it easier to focus on the rules of our religion rather than draw near to the God of our religion. The result? As Curtis Martin, the founder of FOCUS, says, “Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.”
Without a transformation of heart, we look for loopholes in the rules that allow us to do what we want or rebel against them altogether. The law then serves as a diagnosis. It reveals how sinful we are by showcasing how easily we break it. The laws and rules, however, can only expose our problem. They can’t fix the problem. They cannot heal our inclination to sin or soften our hearts. For that, we need a savior with whom we can have a relationship. That is what Jesus offers in the gospel.
After Jesus calls out the Pharisees for their hardness of heart, He tells them about God’s plan for marriage from the beginning and casts a vision for them that is much higher than the do’s and don'ts of the law. In doing so, He offers the Pharisees and us what the law could never do: change from the inside out, which restores us to God and His original plan for our lives.
In Ezekiel 36:26, God promises, “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”
God made good on that promise through Jesus Christ.
I wonder if you can relate to the Pharisees more than you’d like to admit. I know I can. The Lord lived, died, and rose again so that we might have a relationship with Him, but our hearts are often hardened to that relationship. We focus on the externals of our faith, the practices, and the rules to claim to be good Catholics while keeping our beloved Savior at arm's length. It’s as if external performance is easier than internal transformation. But if we only focus on the externals, we will never get to the heart of the issue. God wants much more than our external performance. He softens our hearts to resemble His and allows the transformation to flow into our actions and behaviors. It is only through this process that following the rules of our faith becomes filled with the joy of our relationship with God.
With this in mind, I invite you to ask yourself: are you trying to follow the rules of our faith devoid of an authentic relationship with God as the Pharisees did? If so, I bet you are exhausted. White-knuckling obedience to God is tiring, and eventually, it will lead you to resent Him. Our Lord invites you to stop trying so hard and go to Him, sin and all. Ask Him to show you what a genuine relationship looks like with Him, and then follow His lead; you will find that walking the road of faith close to Christ is so much better than checking boxes and following rules.
Knowing Him makes the rules make sense.
Following Him makes His ways much sweeter.
Loving Him makes your heart much softer.
Walking alongside you,
Mallory Smyth
Food for thought or journaling…
Consider the idea that the rules of our faith reveal that our hearts are sinful. How do you react to certain Catholic commandments and moral laws? What might that reveal about your heart? How has God softened your heart over time? Where do you still need to be transformed?
Dear Lord, In the gospels, You often call out the Pharisees for their hypocrisy and hardness of heart. Please reveal to me what I have in common with them. Show me how I hold You at arm's length, clinging to my hardness of heart while following rules and checking off boxes. I ask You to give me the grace to lay my heart before You and allow You to do whatever it takes to transform me from the inside out. Help me to draw closer to You. Teach me to love what You love so that the way I live becomes an expression of love to You. Amen.
[1] “U.S Catholics Open to Non-Traditional Families,” Pew Research Center, September 2, 2015, https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2015/09/02/chapter-3-family-matters/.