Dig Deeper into Sunday’s Gospel: Read John 13:31–35

What makes a Christian, a Christian? It’s a simple question, but one that, sadly, can feel like a lightning rod in today’s world.

These days, the “criteria” we might use to answer seem fluid and ever-changing, influenced by any number of factors:

• The church we do or don't attend.
  
• The news outlets we follow or avoid.
  
• Where we shop or boycott.
  
• Who we voted for or didn’t vote for.

And that begs a deeper question: Whose criteria are we using? Are we basing our answer on the world’s shifting standards, on personal preferences, or on the words of Christ Himself?

My intention is not to stir debate or ignite vitriol. But in light of this Sunday’s gospel, I wonder, have we overlooked the profoundly simple yet deeply challenging lesson Jesus offers us in this passage? 

“My children, I will be with you only a little while longer … I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:33–35).

It’s safe to assume that not every word Jesus spoke during His earthly ministry was recorded. So, how precious, then, are the words we do have? These words were spoken by our Lord to His closest friends mere hours before He would surrender His life and initiate the final acts of our redemption. Shouldn’t that compel us to pause, read them again, and allow the Spirit to search and know our hearts? 

Do we love others as Christ loves? Do we actively choose to love like Him? Can others recognize that we follow Christ by the way we love? When others encounter us, do they encounter Christ?

Loving like Him is the mark of a Christian. Despite what our culture emphasizes or our own definitions and justifications, love is not measured in outward signs or symbols: 

• Not in lawn signs, flags, or stickers;
• Not in degrees or achievements;
• Not by which church we attend or how many Bible studies we’ve completed;
• Not by how we receive Communion; and
• Not by which influencers we follow or tweets we repost.

And, thanks to God’s infinite mercy, neither are our sins a measure of our love and faith in Christ. As Saint John Paul II reminds us: “We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures; we are the sum of the Father’s love for us and our real capacity to become the image of His Son.”[1] 

Humanity has wrestled with division, polarization, and brokenness since Eden. We see it in the world, in culture, and yes, even within the Church. It’s nothing new. It’s nothing Jesus didn’t contend with either. In the garden of Gethsemane, His fervent prayer was “that they may all be one” (John 17:21), a prayer for unity, oneness, and wholeness.

Jesus marks us in a different way, a way that is radically new. His call to love as He loves transcends all other labels and divisions. It reaches beyond gender, race, nationality, politics, and social status. 

It is a love in which “mercy triumphs over judgment” (James 2:13), a love that flows from our encounter with the One who “first loved us” (1 John 4:19). It is a love that, as Pope Benedict XVI writes, “unites us to God … and makes us a ‘we’ which transcends our divisions, and makes us one, until in the end God is ‘all in all.’”[2]

It is a love that prays for enemies, forgives seventy times seven, and offers mercy even when none is returned. A love that “laid down his life for us” so we might do the same for one another (1 John 3:16). A love that is visible and transformative, a love that challenges and unifies. His is a love that heals, that calls us to recall not only that we are all members of one body, one Church, but when one of us suffers, “all suffer together” (1 Corinthians 12:26).

Have we forgotten how to love?

I am deeply convicted by these simple words of our Lord. Because if I am truly honest, when I examine my conscience, I find many instances where my love is relatively less than Christ-like, skewing toward conditions, my mercy thin, my thoughts judgmental, my actions self-protective. There are times I choose comfort over service, security over sacrifice.

I’ve realized something important while praying with this gospel and reflecting on the times when I fail to reflect Christ to others—my inability to love, my failure to love as He does. This often stems from forgetting my truest identity: my mark as a child of God, a follower of Christ, and a beloved daughter. I’ve overlooked the part of Jesus’ message, “As I have loved you,” and that, above all things, I have forgotten that first and foremost, I am loved. 

As Pope Francis tenderly describes, “The love that we receive from the Lord is the force that transforms our lives. It opens our hearts and enables us to love … We are able to love only because He has loved us … The love I give is united to Jesus’ love for me.”[3]

To be a Christian is to first receive His love so deeply, so intensely that it overflows. So much so that when the world looks at us, what they see is love—love of God and love of others, all others. The way we love is a direct reflection of our awareness that He first loved us.

Ultimately, the true “criteria” for being a Christian isn’t measured by external affiliations, appearances, or cultural standards. It is marked by love; a love that begins not with our own striving but with a deep, personal reception of Christ’s love for us. Only then can we authentically fulfill His command: “As I have loved you, so you also should love one another” (John 13:34). When we live from this place, receiving and then pouring out His love, we not only reflect our true identity as daughters of God, but we witness to the world the unmistakable, transforming power of being a follower of Christ—a Christian.

With you on the journey,
Jeannine

Food for thought or journaling … 

What hinders me most from loving fully: fear, pride, resentment, or something else? How can I surrender this to Jesus? How do I respond when love is met with rejection, betrayal, or indifference? Do I persevere in loving even when it’s painful? How am I allowing myself to receive God’s love, so that I can pour it out authentically to those around me?

Consider a prayerful examination of conscience: Lord Jesus, You have commanded me to love as You have loved. As I reflect on Your words, help me now to reflect, in earnest, upon my day:

• Have I loved others reflecting selflessness and sacrifice, or have I made love conditional?
• Have I sought reconciliation when there was division, or allowed bitterness to grow?
• Have I loved in action, not just in words—serving with humility and compassion?
• Have I forgiven and offered mercy as You so freely and patiently do?
• Do others recognize Your love in me, or have I hidden or distorted Your image?

Jesus, show me where my love has fallen short. Fill my heart with Your Spirit and Your grace, that I may truly live as Your disciple, known by love. Amen.

[1] Pope John Paul II, “Homily from 17th World Youth Day, Toronto, January 28, 2002,” Vatican.va (Accessed May 6, 2025), https://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/homilies/2002/documents/hf_jp-ii_hom_20020728_xvii-wyd.html
[2]  Pope Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est, [Encyclical Letter on Christian Love], Vatican.va (Accessed May 6, 2025), https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20051225_deus-caritas-est.html
[3] Pope Francis, “Pope Francis: ‘This is our identity: we are God’s loved ones.’” Americamagazine.org (Accessed May 6, 2025), https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2022/05/15/pope-francis-homily-10-new-saints-love-242992